Duchess of the Time Suck: You’re Welcome.

This is where I spew truthiness at you. I have zero inspiration for blogging this week. That being said, I shall now share with you the vile culprits of time suckage that have been distracting me as of late.

Prime Suspect: Facebook. That asshole.

Suspect A: Dog-shaming. I mean, really. Dog owners take a photo of their dog with a hand written sign of their offense. Then they post it online for my viewing pleasure.  Yes, I said mine. It reminds me every day that I need to grab a notebook, a Sharpie, and my camera and document the transgressions of my fur horde. Hell, I might even do it to Kory. Sorry, honey. (No, I’m not.)

Suspect B: Twaggies. This site is made for people who enjoy tweets, but really wish they came with pictures. Basically, you find a clever tweet then you illustrate it. Of course, every one I’ve seen seems to be by a professional. I want to see some poorly drawn visuals so I can start a website to make fun of them.

Suspect C: Jenna Marbles, I LOVE you. Seriously. You’re weird and funny and real and you don’t stop yourself from saying exactly what you think. I adore delightfully awkward people. She cracks me up in a way that I’m laughing loudly even when I’m by myself. (Admit it, people. How often do you watch funny things when you’re alone and actually laugh out loud?) Anywho, I feel it important to implore more guys to watch these videos. She’ll let you know how sports bras work.

Suspect D: Bad Lip Reading. These folks take snippets of, well, anything and put a new track of dialogue (or song) to what it LOOKS like the people are saying. The most recent one that had me doubled over is the More Mitt Romney video.  I’d love a transcript of that one printed on a t-shirt. Give that bitch a t-shirt, bitches love t-shirts.

Suspect EPinterest. I don’t think I need to expand on that one. If you’d like to join me, find me HERE.

OOH! And I think I see someone familiar on THIS PAGE! (For the slow readers, it’s me. I’m on there. WEEEE!)



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